So, this weekend I will be making 21 years and I couldn’t think of any better way to celebrate life than sharing some of the most important life lessons that I have learned with the world. May be someone out there needs to read this to better themselves.
Just like you and everyone else dead or living, I have been through both the good and the bad but guess what, I don’t wish to have lived life any other way. Whatever bad or good I have been through has shaped me into the woman that I have become today. I did break down several times, cried myself to sleep some nights, battled with social anxiety, been made to feel insecure about my body once or twice and always felt like I’m just an emotional mess. To be honest, there might have been lots of hard times but the good outweighed the bad and for that, I’m so grateful.
Here are the most important things that I have learned in the past 20 years:
- Self-Love first: I have learned that it’s very okay to love yourself and put yourself first before anyone else because self-love is not selfish but expecting others to put you first is. And of course, as they say; you can never pour from an empty cup. For me, I have mastered the art of self-love that nothing can ever make me feel smaller than I already am. When you love yourself, it means you accept and appreciate every part that makes you who you are. However much someone tries to make you feel unworthy, they will never succeed because you are self-aware. You accepted yourself and you love you.
- Gratitude is a must: Truth is, we are always going to want more. It doesn’t matter how much or less we have; we will always be yearning for something else, something more. However, we should learn to be grateful for even the very little things we have because there are many people out there who have little or nothing of what we already have and are praying for a miracle to have at least a quarter of what we possess. Allow yourself to be happy by appreciating whatever you have. Also, when you are thankful for what you already have, you are always rewarded with more.
- F* their projections: I got to know that other people’s perception of you is none of your business. And that their opinions of you are only a projection of their own insecurities. Never allow their judgments of you to dictate how you choose to live your life because the moment you allow other people to dictate what to do with your life, you automatically become a light being. Live life on your own terms.
- You don’t need anyone’s validation: Stop seeking permission from others. The only approval that you need in life is only yours and no one else. You will just end up drained by their negative energies. You only need a one yes and that yes should be yours. Practice self-love and build a sense of self-acceptance. The need for validation is affecting your performance – you not only procrastinate but also feel anxious and avoid doing the important stuff.
- Be authentic: You should learn to be your own true self. There is no need for you to live someone else’s life. Stop faking it and just be you because you are enough just the way you are. Be ORIGINAL because that’s what the world needs to see. No one is interested in seeing someone else’s copy. Be brave enough to express your genuine feelings and opinions without caring to please a soul. What’s so hard about matching what you feel on the inside with how you behave on the outside!
- Let go of the past: There are some things we can never undo. You cannot go back and change your past mistakes and so you should stop dwelling on them if you want to move on. Ignore the past and change your present such that you don’t regret it in the future and wish you could have done something about it when it’s already too late. Clinging on the past is mental slavery and unless you let go, you will never move on. Yes, I know it can be hard sometimes to adopt change and so many times we tend to hold onto the familiar things only to limit ourselves from experiencing happiness.
- You are beautiful: Someone else’s definition of beauty should not be your own. To some people, beauty is being light-skinned while to others its being melanin. I believe beauty is being able to appreciate and love yourself but someone else defines it as grace and confidence. Beauty has so many forms and we cannot be it all. The world might define beauty by the face or curves and you will define it by the light in the heart and that’s the most beautiful thing.
- No mistake is a wrong turn: We are all human beings and so sometimes we will actually do some things wrong but that is very okay. That should never stop us from trying out other things just because we are scared of repeating our mistakes. Mistakes are done by humans and that’s how we learn. However, learning from our mistakes doesn’t happen automatically but it requires thinking and reflection.
- Blaming others for your own mistakes is pathetic: Life is about making mistakes and learning from them – accidents happen. But if you aren’t willing to accept your mistakes and take responsibility, how are you going to learn from them! You do not grow by shifting blame but by analyzing the cause and identifying the solution.
- Don’t focus on what everyone else is doing: You have a mission, stick to it. I know it can be discouraging having a smaller audience than other content creators who are creating different content and you feel like you are probably on the wrong path. They are making much more money, getting more claps, likes or views but that means nothing. Stop paying attention to the stupid metrics and focus on how many people you have inspired, entertained or helped.